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Some Ilvermorny headcanons
- First and foremost, every day is cranberry pie day
- While students do have robes, the clothes they wear underneath the robes are not uniforms. There is an eclectic mix of tastes, from the very serious horned serpent who wears button-downs and ties every day, to the wampus who has enchanted their graphic t-shirt to move, to the thunderbirds and pukwudgies who mutually exist solely for sweater weather.
- Every year on James Steward’s birthday, there is a school-sponsored cranberry pie bake-off. Pukwudgie house nearly always wins. Once, thunderbird won and good lord you would think it was the civil war all over again
- There are a lot of local professors, of course, so you get some really thick Boston accents, but there are also professors with southern belle accents who serve iced tea in class, professors with Canadian accents, professors with midwest accents, several Native American professors with smooth, lulling accents, and some Mexican professors who slip into Spanish when they get super excited about their subject. There was a visiting professor from Ireland once, and 96% of female students (and some male students) had major crushes on him.
- Wampus house is where you go to get body-crushing, soul-lifting hugs
- Horned serpents may be scholars, but they are also some of the keenest observers. They watch the whole school from afar and quietly play matchmaker to all of their friends. No one suspects them because - what, horned serpent? No. They don’t know about emotions. Meanwhile, the house president makes a killing on the bet she made to predict the homecoming king/queen.
- Thanksgiving at Ilvermorny is a spectacle that has to be seen to be believed. It’s almost bigger than Christmas. The thanksgiving feasts at Ilvermorny put Hogwarts to shame. Turkey, ham, real cranberry sauce, pies - oh my god so many pies. They’ve got cider, and tea, and cocoa like you wouldn’t believe. There are New English dishes and Southern dishes and Native dishes and Mexican dishes and Canadian dishes and West Coast dishes - essentially it’s a gigantic continental potluck, and it goes on all day long. Also, their pumpkin juice tastes 1000 times better.
- While things like dueling and fighting with wands may be frowned upon at Hogwarts, at Ilvermorny it’s kind of just assumed that stuff happens, and the profs are very chill about it. “Just don’t kill each other okay” “just take it outside” “no casting destruction spells indoors” “bring some band-aids with you” “if you break your nose don’t bleed on your homework”
- Pukwudgies are a pretty agreeable house over all, if not a bit salty and surly around the edges, they’ll still help you with your homework and bring you soup when you’ve got a cold. But all bets are off when they step onto the lacrosse field. Maybe its a pride thing, but pukwudgies are frikkin animals when playing lacrosse.
- Wampus beats pukwudgie at lacrosse fairly often. They don’t actually practice that much, they just kind of win.
- This fact has fueled a sports rivalry - friendly in wampus’ eyes, bloodthirsty in pukwudgie’s eyes.
- At wampus/pukwudgie games, horned serpents sell special blends of popcorn. Thunderbirds purchase, hoard, and eat 89% of this popcorn.
- Horned serpents and pukwudgies often, though not always, end up having an unspoken rivalry in potions class.
- Contrary to popular belief, wampus is not full of athletic jocks. However, they are the most body-positive of all of the schools, and, somewhat ironically to the stereotype, will never judge anyone for their athletic ability. They want everyone to be able to enjoy athleticism and bravery and adventure in the ways they are most able and gifted.
- That being said, they do have the kind of student body who, if called upon, could become a minute militia.
- When there is a freak hurricane or tornado headed headed for the school, it will be a wampus student who is patrolling the halls and telling students where to go for safety. If there is a bully in school, you had better bet your bottom dollar that s/he will be beaten to a pulp by the next day, and it will be a wampus student sporting mysteriously bloody knuckles.
- Pukwudgies are the ones who patch up the bully; they might accidentally wind the bandages a little too tight.
- Thunderbirds love a good game of hide-and-seek. They have a tradition of, every halloween, playing hide-and-seek in the dark in the woods.
- Horned serpents are the students least often caught for sneaking in contraband into school. Caught being the key word. Most students learn at some point in their education that if you want a nice stiff drink, you go to horned serpent. During secret designated holidays, horned serpent common room turns into a speakeasy.
- Unexpectedly, it is pukwudgies who carry the most weapons and dangerous materials on their person at any given time. If a group of Ilvermorny students were going through a security check, it would be the pukwudgies held at the line while they emptied their pockets (bigger on the inside, of course) of various poisons and weapons. When asked, they would just shrug and say “just in case”.
- The town around Ilvermorny is home to several franchised chain restaurants that, although they are no-maj brands, have been taken over by Ilvermorny alumni and thus serve predominantly wizarding patrons. Cups levitate to customers in the Starbucks, there are magic-only options on the menu; the chik-fil-a floor sweeps itself; at dominos the pizzas assemble themselves while the one clerk waits, bored, at the register. There are in-house cues for magic patrons whenever a no-maj walks in. The clerk rings a bell or taps loudly on the counter, or yells out an order than is actually a code word for stop doing magic stuff. It’s like red light green light.
- There are some old service tunnels beneath the school left over from WWII and the Cold War. They’re like a labyrinth, and Thunderbird has a monopoly on the maps to the tunnels. Some of the more obscure tunnels have large rooms that are perfect for parties and impromptu speakeasies (lookin at you, horned serpent). Thunderbirds will rent out these rooms to fellow students at a fair and competitive rate.
- Unlike hogwarts, Ilvermorny students are more apt to use modern technology. Electrics can be weird around witches and wizards, but they still enjoy a lot of no-maj programming. They use computers instead of quills (but still have to print off their essays, ugh,) and listen to music, and watch TV.
- Star Trek has long been a school cult favorite. Pukwudgies have adopted Bones as their pop culture mascot; Kirk is Thunderbird’s, Spock, horned serpent. Wampus vacillates on which of these three they like most, though it must be said, when they start watching Next Gen, many wampus students find themselves enamored with Worf,
- There has only been one no-maj to ever make it past the magic shields of Ilvermorny unaided. This instance was in 1985. His name was Chad, who at the time was 1) stoned out of his mind and 2) delivering chinese takeout to a horned serpent pulling an all-nighter. School admin found out later, and there was hell to pay. They never did track down Chad to wipe his memory.
- Pukwudgie house does have more than its fair share of healers, so they are definitely the ones to go to for cold remedies, home made soup, the best cures for menstrual cramps, and really good back rubs.
- However, they are also the ones to go to for less medical remedies: the best hot cocoa, the most gourmet teas, and home made food.
- Each house has a class president who is elected for a two-year term (unless they’re a final year student, in which case they will serve one before being taken over by their VP). They have some influence within their houses, but never as much as they’d like. For instance, the thunderbird president once attempted to institute mid-day dancing parties, but school admin said no.
- Pukwudgies are usually not super athletic, but are often very good at things like darts, archery, and waterbaloon fights.
- Wampus takes ultimate frisbee very, very seriously.
- Thunderbird hosts an ongoing scavenger hunt throughout the semester.
- The women of horned serpent blow off steam and the stuffy acadmic pressures of their house by making pillow forts and watching rom coms with each other.
- Back in the eighties some wizard created a magic version of D&D, and it has become a weekend favorite of many students across all of the houses.
- After graduation, instead of having a class ring, it has become tradition for Ilvermorny students to make a pendant out of their golden cloak buttons.
- Ilvermorny may be separated by inter-house squabbles much like at Hogwarts, but at the end of the day, they all leave school wearing the same blue and cranberry robes, sporting the same skill with a wand, raised to the same scrappy, witty, mod-podge tenacity that American witches and wizards embody so well.
A Complete Guide to Ilvermorny
What Ilvermorny Means
This section focuses on the bare bones of each house. Later I expand in great depth on the specific combinations.
Wampus:
Pragmatism. The Wampus wants real world results. It wants things that can assist these results. It will take real, immediate action to achieve these results. Oriented towards events, the exterior world, and action. Searches for advantage in everything. Searches for ways to win. Competition, winning, the real world. Proof. Logic. Action.
Horned Serpent:
Theories. The world aligns with their system of thought. Why is the world this way? What if it isn’t? The horned serpent considers everything. They scrutinize and analyze. They make the world fit their mind and make their mind for the world. Oriented toward the internal world. Thinking about things for their own sake. No objective but understanding.
Pukwudgie:
Pukwudgies are what they are. They want to be themselves in all respects, extroverting themselves on the outer world. They are in tune with their own emotions and will follow their gut instincts and feelings wherever they might lead. They have a strong emotional attachment to those they value, and will stay extremely loyal to those select few. Pukwudgies are social without Boeing to society.
Thunderbird:
Change. The grand concept of the soul. The thunderbird wants change for its internal world. It wishes to be free in its thoughts and it’s desires, pretty much regardless of the outside world. The thunderbird seeks betterment for itself in subjective ways. It does not want to win, it wants to be happy.
Hogwarts/Ilvermorny Combinations
This section focuses on each individual house combination.
Pukwudgie/Hogwarts
The Hero (Gryffindor)
The Traveler (Ravenclaw)
The Loyalist (Hufflepuff)
The Charmer (Slytherin)
Gryffindor/Pukwudgie: These people are the typical thrill seeking freedom fighters of Gryffindor. The social nature of Pukwudgie combines with the glory seeking bravado of Gryffindor to make a person who sees themselves as a hero, and is eager to act accordingly. Gryffindor Pukwudgies are often more attuned to their own wants and the wants of their friends then anything grander. They prefer not to look at the big picture, and instead focus on small situations where they can apply themselves with vigor and individuality. Gryffindor and Pukwudgie are both individualistic and emotional houses, and this manifests particularly strongly in this combination. The Gryffindor is action oriented and the Pukwudgie is social, creating someone who is outspoken and willing to stick to their emotional decisions to the bitter end.
Ravenclaw/Pukwudgie: The Ravenclaw Pukwudgie is primarily concerned with the exploration of the world. The Ravenclaw is insatiably curious, and the Pukwudgie sees the world externally, without becoming preoccupied with the structure of the world or what they can and cannot do. The two houses in combination seek to fully enjoy life, seeking out new knowledge and experiences without very much of an end goal. These people seek to enjoy their life above all else, and will likely have a drive to see the world, try new and exciting things, and will not have patience for those who drag them down to a more boring world.
Hufflepuff/Pukwudgie: The Hufflepuff Pukwudgie is devoted to its friends and family. It will make sure they are happy and healthy above all else, and will define their lives by those they care about. They are more focused on themselves as individuals then the traditional Hufflepuff, who seeks to make things fair for the general world. These Hufflepuffs instead prefer to stay within the circle of those that they love and rarely stray from it. These Pukwudgies will be more selfless and able to dismiss their own emotions easier than most because of their acute awareness of the affect it has on others.
Slytherin/Pukwudgie: Slytherin Pukwudgies are naturals at making connections and thrive in the social world. Their ambition is driven from emotional need, and will often be less traditionally ambitious than the dreams of other Slytherins. They will want to succeed in a social or emotional way, more intangible than the power and wealth many Slytherins seek. They will seek prestige in their social circle, using their quick wits to charm their fellows. They are highly external people, loving the company and positivity of social gatherings and becoming highly adept at navigating such settings.
Wampus/Hogwarts
The Champion (Gryffindor)
The Trickster (Ravenclaw)
The Paragon (Hufflepuff)
The Victor (Slytherin)
Gryffindor/Wampus: Wampus Gryffindors are the most in tune with the real world of Gryffindors. They see the real world problems with constantly sticking to their morals and emotions, and will be willing to change their decisions and adapt to whatever will yield the greatest benefit. This combination is extremely action oriented, often becoming restless when there is no danger for them to face or situation to mend. These will be the most competitive of all Gryffindors, eager to jump on any casual opportunity to show others what they can do. This is the result of the glory seeking nature of Gryffindor combined with the Wampus drive to win. While this combination is highly impulsive and strong willed, it’s logical side and desire to succeed often makes it more detached than most Gryffindors until the opportunity for action arises. This combination will look for logical and analytical reasons why it won or did not win, and thus will often seem changeable, as it is reviewing new data and analyzing while it is taking action. It’s looking at the same time as it’s leaping.
Ravenclaw/Wampus: The Ravenclaw Wampus is the rarest of all sixteen combinations. Understandable as it is a paradoxical personality. Strong willed with malleable beliefs and goals, active with a tendency to hang back and consider all options, and intellectual but fierce. This combination deals in cleverness more than any other type of intellect. It prefers wit and strategy in its thoughts and conversations to a less immediately applicable, more studious knowledge. The introspective nature of Ravenclaw combines with Wampus in two principle ways, first with its competitiveness and its drive to succeed, which makes the Ravenclaw Wampus self critical and keenly aware of its own strengths and weaknesses. Secondly, the introspection combines with the strength of Wampus to create an impassive exterior. This Wampus will conceal its weaknesses behind a thick veil of intellect and prestige.
Hufflepuff/Wampus: The Hufflepuff Wampus has tangible goals that it wants to succeed in, and has a strong drive like other Wampuses, however, this will be offset by their affection for their companions and their wish for these people to succeed as much, if not more, than themself. This manifests as a person who is a strong and charismatic community leader. They will drive groups of people forward highly effectively with an infectious optimism and tireless determination. Both the Wampus and the Hufflepuff houses are hard working houses with great amounts of grit. As a result, the combination will take on massive amounts of work for greater projects with incredible drive. This is a self sacrificing combination with a strong sense of right and wrong, based primarily around justice and fairness. They will fight tirelessly to achieve this fairness in any place they can.
Slytherin/Wampus: The Slytherin and Wampus houses are defined by ambition. Slytherin values ambition deeply, and Wampus’ interaction with the world is based around fighting and winning. As a result, the Slytherin Wampus feels that it must achieve its goals at all costs, and overwhelmingly does so. This type is highly adaptable within the margins of its goals, as it sees many ways it can get what it wants, and has no issue buckling down to what work is necessary. While in true Slytherin nature, it is focused on the end goal at all times, the scrappiness and engagement with the present moment that Wampus brings leads this combination to be more playful than other Slytherins. These Slytherins are so constantly ambitious and secure in their desire that they feel comfortable dropping their seriousness whenever it appeals to them. At the same time, the Slytherin Wampus sees no point in becoming too preoccupied with the negative aspects of the here and now, and has a tendency to “wait out” annoyances, emotional problems, or pain.
Thunderbird/Hogwarts
The Revolutionary (Gryffindor)
The Philosopher (Ravenclaw)
The Optimist (Hufflepuff)
The Candidate (Slytherin)
Gryffindor/Thunderbird: Gryffindor Thunderbird has deeply internalized its moral beliefs. It is guided by its principals and ideals. The contrast in between Thunderbirds vibrant internal world and Gryffindors strong external tendencies make a combination that is powerfully focused on carrying its beliefs into the outside world. This combination makes no compromises. It is resilient against outside influence, and most powerful when faced with impossible odds. In the face of everyone telling it “no”, it plants it’s feet and screams “yes” in response. This Gryffindor is the least boastful an glory seeking of Gryffindors, as it cares very little for the the outside world. It deeply connects to those who share its beliefs however, and will stick to these long lived friendships through any situation, no matter how thick or thin.
Ravenclaw/Thunderbird: The Ravenclaw Thunderbird seeks enlightenment. Regardless of its religious views or what words they might use to describe what they seek, the Ravenclaw Thunderbird wishes to reach a state of complete happiness and knowledge. Both Ravenclaw and Thunderbird constantly seek out something, deep in their core. The Ravenclaw seeks many new ideas, whereas the Thunderbird seeks a single great ideal. In combination, these houses search for all ways they might achieve their final ideal (note: not their final GOAL, the ideal is generally something unattainable. The Ravenclaw Thunderbird considers it nobler to strive for the impossible.) This house will be as curious as the traditional Ravenclaw, but it’s deep held beliefs as a Thunderbird will lead it to dismiss more information than its more trusting and open minded fellows. Ultimately, their greatest priority is enlightenment and whatever else they may have chosen as a panultimate ideal.
Hufflepuff/Thunderbird: The Hufflepuff Thunderbird is probably the greatest source of Hufflepuff’s reputation of being offbeat. The Thunderbird devotion to its internal world mixes with the upbeat attitude of Hufflepuff to create a person who is extremely amiable and easygoing without feeling the need to fit in or act in a way they feel uncomfortable with. This Hufflepuff is more secure in their identity than other Hufflepuffs, and this Thunderbird is more secure in their present situation than other Thunderbirds. This makes a sweet spot of contentment where the Hufflepuff Thunderbird makes it’s home.
Slytherin/Thunderbird: Of the Slytherins, this combination is the deepest emotionally. It does not find the same advantage of repressing its emotions that the other houses do. Instead, this house propels itself through its ambitions with a deep emotional drive to thrive I whatever environment it is put in. The forceful confidence of Slytherin gives this Thunderbird a tendency to hurl themselves into happiness and freedom, acting however they might please. This gives them a forceful and individualistic charisma, but makes them enemies as they can come off as a bull in a china shop when surrounded by weaker personalities. This Slytherin plans ahead less than other Slytherins. It has it’s eventual goals in mind, but it trusts in its ability to improvise with all the cunning and determination it possesses once it comes into contact with an actual impediment.
Horned Serpent/Hogwarts
The Advocate (Gryffindor)
The Visionary (Ravenclaw)
The Psychologist (Hufflepuff)
The Architect (Slytherin)
Gryffindor/Horned Serpent: The Gryffindor Horned Serpent is the fiercest of the Horned Serpents and the most conservative and cautious of the Gryffindors. They have strong held ideas that they reenforce with a powerful will and as much mental energy as they can muster. However, these Gryffindors are aware of the consequences to their actions, and will act in a more refined way, only breaking rules or taking direct action when they see it as good to do so. They will not, however, hesitate to challenge any idea put forward, examining it from both moral and logical standpoints. This combination has a highly tuned moral framework that builds itself on sequences of logic in order to determine what is right. These Horned Serpents are less interested in discovery, experimentation, and hypothesizing than most of their brethren. The Gryffindor in them prefers to take what is established knowledge so that they can act in the moment and will not have to shift their belief system, which is dependent on information. This combination will project themselves as the most prominent mind in the room. They often do not project the pure and quiet intelligence of Ravenclaw combinations or the calculated charisma of Slytherin, but the use of Gryffindor’s indomitable will and Horned Serpents uncontainable mind forces the attention of those nearby. People are drawn to this combination, and it uses this ability to advocate its ideas.
Ravenclaw/Horned Serpent: This combinations mind is completely active. It thinks constantly, developing and discarding ideas and theories at a consummate rate. The quick mindedness of the Ravenclaw allows it to see multiple ideas and possible ways to see a situation at once. At the same time, the Horned Serpent focuses these many ideas, narrowing down those that are illogical and discardable. This combination is fully involved with its mind. Its intelligence propels it in everything it does, shaping its values, shifting its actions. What the Ravenclaw Horned Serpent does will always be to the benefit of knowledge and its own understanding. It will seek the analysis and dissection of the entire world, magnifying every notion as far as it reasonably can. This combination balances a scale in its own mind. On one hand, it enjoys the pure information of chaos, but on the other, the rationality of both houses wants stability. The Ravenclaw Horned Serpent makes its compromise through observation. It will sit still and accumulate knowledge until it sees there is something to be gained for their mind if they move. They will then throw themselves headlong into whatever pursuit they have deemed smart.
Hufflepuff/Horned Serpent: The Hufflepuff Horned Serpent seeks to understand people. It will study someone in all their intricacies, looking to their likes, dislikes, beliefs, motives, and everything else try can glean. This combination loves people as truly as most Hufflepuffs do, but is truly fascinated by them as a Horned Serpent. Hufflepuff’s patience combines with the theories of Horned Serpent to form principles over time. This combination will slowly accumulate similar ideas, slowly turn them over, combine them where they can be combined, and eventually form well fleshed out principles that it can share compassionately with those in need. This combination values wisdom above all else. It wishes to guide others in a subjective manner. Helping them with their minds and their ideas. The strong inclination to fairness that Hufflepuff brings overpowers the wish for personal understanding that Horned Serpent holds dearly. This combination will, as a result, share what it knows indiscriminately. It wishes the world to be better mentally and to be supplied with guiding wisdom that will keep it safe.
Slytherin/Horned Serpent: The Slytherin Horned Serpent wants to build. While it is receptive to the many ideas of the world, it prefers its own. It will be strongly oriented towards order, categories, and rules. These are where the Slytherin ambition and the structured minds of the Horned Serpents thrive. Within this structure, it will create more and more structure, expanding it and pushing the boundaries of the previous rules, before forming new rules and guidelines in a more refined manner. This combination is proud, trusting its own intellect and intuition above all else. Its logic being that they are tried and true indicators. This makes the Slytherin Horned Serpent stubborn minded until failure. At the point of failure, this combination will see no problem admitting that they were wrong and pursuing an entirely different approach. The ambition of Slytherin drives it forward towards a goal or a principle to understand, while the Horned Serpent studies and searches for the best way to achieve such an end.
